Monsters and Torment
by HungerGamesFan Amanda
Summary: We only ever saw one half of the Mockingjay story. Here, we have Peeta's POV. Peeta is held by the Capitol, hijacked, and stuck with a mind that isn't his. Contains Mockingjay spoilers, obviously. Rated T for torture.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys! Currently, A Stylist's Games is on hiatus, because I'm starting Mockingjay, Peeta's POV. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Scare me**

"Hello, Peeta. It's time for an interview," Portia says. When she opens the door, I shield my eyes from the artificial light streaming into my cell.

"Why?" I ask.

"Snow says so," she replies, a hint of anger in her voice.

"No," I say.

"Yes. You have to, Peeta. If you haven't noticed, you're their prisoner, their property. They can make you do whatever they want," Portia says, disgusted.

"So nothing has changed. I'm still a piece in their Games," I say.

She nods. She takes my hand, and takes me from the cell. I say nothing, just let her guide me along. I've decided to cooperate with her, and the rest of the Capitol.

"Here we are!" Portia says, too enthusiastically to be genuine.

She leads me to a large room filled with clothing racks. One side of the room has a huge table with an abundance of sewing machines and fabric.

"C'mon, let's get you fitted for the interview, shall we?" Portia tells me to sit in one of the large chairs, and I do.

Moments later, my prep team enters. Sensa, Jaysa, and Lanius.

"Peeta! So good to see you…" Sensa trails off.

I nod. "Have they- done anything to you?" Jaysa asks.

"No," I reply. They all seem to sigh with relief. "But why would you care?"

"Peeta, we are here to help you. We love you," Jaysa says, and Lanius and Sensa nods encouragingly.

"Okay," I say.

"Come here, Peeta," Portia motions to me.

She shows me a white suit, paired with white shoes, socks, and a jacket.

"White," I say.

"Yes, Snow's request," she says vehemently.

"Sensa, Jaysa, Lanius, we need the full body polish," Portia says to my prep team.

After the full body polish, Portia gives me the suit and shows me a dressing room.

"Perfect," Portia gestures for me to follow her out of the room, and I do.

"This is Sara. She will take you to the stage and back to your… quarters," Portia says.

Sara takes my arm and tugs me away. She grabs my hands and puts a pair of thick, metal handcuffs on. I look at her, and she looks away quickly.

She leads me to a stage, never letting go of my arm. Her grip tightens when we arrive at the stage.

Like I'm going to try to escape. Where would I go? I'm in the middle of the Capitol, I'm not going to be able to get to District 1, let alone District 12.

District 12. Someone said that 12 was bombed, that no one survived. My family, Sams, Mrs. Everdeen, Prim. Everyone.

"Hello, Peeta. Are you ready?" Caesar Flickerman says.

"I guess," I reply.

He looks toward the camera like I didn't say anything. One of the people in the room, the director I assume, counts backwards.

"We're live," he calls.

"Good evening, everyone. Whether you're from the Capitol or the districts, you will want to see this. Here we have, Mr. Peeta Mellark!"

I can almost see the color drain from Katniss's face.

"So… Peeta… welcome back," Caesar says.

I smile slightly. "I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me, Caesar," I reply.

"I must confess I did," Caesar says, "The night before the Quarter Quell… well, who ever thought we'd see you again?"

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure," I say.

Caesar leans toward me a little. "I think it was clear what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive."

Damn it, I forgot about that. That plan that me and Haymitch came up with, to stop the Quell.

Haymitch. That son of a Bitch.

Suddenly, Caesar draws me from my thoughts.

"Peeta?" He whispers, pointing to the camera.

"That was it, clear and simple," I start getting nervous, tracing my fingers along the patterns on the chair. "But other people had plans as well," I hope he knows what I'm talking about. The rebel's plan to rescue Katniss from the Quell. I have to assume that the Capitol got to me first, but I'm just guessing.

It is silent for a long time, making me more nervous than before. It suddenly comes to me that Marcus told me to mention a cease-fire or else the world isn't going to be a pretty place for me or Katniss.

"Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena?" Caesar asks. "Help us sort a few things out."

I nod, but take time to figure out what to say. What should I say? How can I be sure I can do this without saying something incriminating?

"That last night… to tell you about that last night… well, first of all, you have to imagine how it felt in the arena. It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, that jungle… green and alive and ticking. That giant clock, ticking away your life. Every hour promising a new horror. You have to imagine that in the past two days, sixteen people have died- some of them defending you. At the rate things are going, the final eight will dead by the following morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it won't be you."

I stop, looking at the small amount of people gathered in the room. They all are glued to my lips, including Caesar. I continue, thinking about the cease-fire.

"Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All the people and the things you loved or cared about almost cease to exist," I use this word, almost implying the cease-fire. "The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered. As bad as it makes you feel, you're gonna have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly."

"It costs your life," Caesar says.

"Oh, no. It's costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people? It costs everything you are."

" _Everything you are_ ," Caesar repeats slowly, mulling over the words in his mind.

No one seems to moving. Everyone seems to have died in the room around me. I'm getting anxious. Very, very anxious.

I decide to continue. "So you hold onto your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss. But even without knowing about the rebels, it didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated. I found myself regretting I hadn't run off with her earlier in the day, as she had suggested. But there was no getting out at that point."

"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake," Caesar says.

Suddenly, I get angry. "Too busy playing allies with the others! I should have never let them separate us!" I burst out.

"That's when I lost her," I say, more calmly.

"When you stayed at the lightning tree, while she and Johanna Mason took the wire coil down to the water," Caesar clarifies.

"I didn't want to!" I shout. "But I couldn't argue with Beetee without giving indicating we were about to break away from the alliance. When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena… blew out.

" _Katniss_ blew it out, Peeta," Caesar says. "You've seen the footage."

Yes, I have. But it doesn't mean anything, Caesar.

"She didn't know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee's plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire," I snap.

"All right. It just looks suspicious," Caesar says. "As if she was part of the plan all along."

I stand up, and lean in toward Caesar's face, locking my hands on the arms of his chair. "Really? And was it part of her plan to Johanna to nearly kill her? For the electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing? She didn't know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!"  
Caesar places his hand on my chest, and presses me back into my chair. "Okay, Peeta, I believe you," he says.

Thank God. That was hard. But I'm still not sure he convinced. Oh well, not my problem.

"Okay," I say, and start running my fingers through my once-perfectly-groomed hair.

Caesar stops, as if he is studying me.

"What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?"

My face hardens. I don't want to talk about him, I'm still not sure what I think about him.

"I don't know what he knew."

"Could he have been part of conspiracy?" Caesar presses.

"He never mentioned it," I say.

"What does your heart tell you?"

"That I shouldn't have trusted him," I say. "That's all."

Caesar pats my shoulder apologetically. "We can stop now if you want," he says.

"Was there more to discuss?" I ask, although I already know the answer. Yes, there is. Marcus said so. I need to speak about the cease-fire.

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset…" Caesar begins.

"Oh, I'm not too upset to answer that," I say, inhaling deeply. I look directly at the camera, imaging it's Katniss, that I'm doing this for her. All for her.

"I want everyone that's watching- whether you're on the Capitol or the rebel side- to stop for just a moment and think about what a war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one and other before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our conditions more tenuous. Is this really what want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that- what? Some decent species will inherit the smoking remains of the Earth?" I'm shouting, more agitated than before.

"I don't really… I'm not sure I'm following…" Caesar stammers.

"We can't fight each other, Caesar," I explain. "There won't be enough of us left to keep going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons- and I mean _very soon_ \- it's all over, anyway."

"So… you're calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar asks.

"Yes, I'm calling for a cease-fire," I say. I'm getting tired of doing this. All I've said is the same things over and over and over again.

"Now why don't we ask the guards to take me back to my quarters so I can build another hundred care houses?" I ask, wishing I could go back and sleep, even if I have to sleep on the floor.

Caesar turns to the camera. "All right, I think that about wraps this up. So back to our regularly scheduled programing's," he smiles.

Music plays, and Sara comes back onto the stage and takes me off. But I'm not greeted by a happy sight. When we enter the backstage area, Marcus is waiting for me.

"Good enough," he says, when his fist lands on my face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's another chapter of Monsters and Torment. I will be posting this every other week, the time in between filled with PBR. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Don't!**

The force from his fist sends me flying across the room. I slam into the wall, which almost knocks me unconscious. But Marcus has other plans. He grabs me by the collar of my shirt, and punches me again. My head rams into the wall, and black dots swim in my vision.

"You're a worthless piece of shit!" he shouts. He begins kicking me in the back, and I curl into a ball.

"Useless, useless, useless!" he continues his torment, whilst he punches me in the face again.

"You'll never amount to anything!" he sounds like my mother.

He grabs my arm and pulls it behind me. I cry out in pain, and my arm falls limp at my side. "That's enough, Marcus," a voice says behind me. "Take him back to the cell," it continues.

Marcus grabs me by my limp arm and drags me along the ground. My vision swims, and I fall in and out of conscious. I eventually become aware that I am back in my quarters, but I'm too preoccupied with my own pain to care. I decide my arm must be broken pretty badly, because I can't move it and it still hurts terribly. But it didn't help to be dragged by it, either.

My head hurts, and I think I have a concussion. Eventually, I fall asleep, thinking about how the void is bliss.

I hear screaming coming from the room beside me. It sounds like Johanna. I might be wrong, but that's what it sounds like.

I move to cover my ears, to block out the sound, but it doesn't help. Only one ear is covered, so I just try to sleep again.

Eventually, the screams stop.

"Johanna?" I call into the darkness, still unsure if that's who on the other side of the wall.

"Mm-hmm," she mumbles.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, never been better. I just love being electrocuted. It's my favorite kind of torture," she says.

"What happened to you?" she asks.

"Interview. Concussion. Broken arm," I say.

"Mm," she says.

She must have fallen asleep, because the conversation ends there. I try in vain to sleep, and end up building more card houses. Darius, the Avox who used to be District 12 peacekeeper, gave a deck of cards to me.

The first time I made it fall over, I did it on accident. After that, I kept making them collapse, imaging it was the arena, and taking a card that gets me and Katniss out of it. Saves us. Make's the pain go away.

But it doesn't help. I roll around on the ground, trying to find a comfortable position. I can't. Every time I turn or roll over I find another place that hurts. No, no, that's not true. _Everything_ hurts. Some things just hurt more than others in a certain position.

After a while, Marcus shows up with a belt. "You're gonna pay for what you said last night," he snarls.

Oh God. He rips off my shirt and starts to slap my bare skin with his belt. I cry out in pain, curling into a ball again. He lashes my back, reminding me of when Gale was whipped, and Katniss kissed him.

 _Yeah, don't think I didn't see that. I was standing in the hallway, Catnip._

I don't know how long it lasted, but at least an hour, maybe two. I blacked out at some point, and he left. I also don't know how long I was out for, but Johanna says I didn't answer for one and a half days, and she thought I was dead.

"You scared me half to death!" she says.

"I didn't think you'd care," I reply.

"I do, because I need someone to talk to. Besides, we victors got to stay together," she says pointedly.

"Yeah, whatever. But they sure didn't stick us all together, Johanna," I continue, thinking about how Finnick was probably rescued, too.

"Well, Annie Cresta's here, too," Johanna says.

"How do you know that?"

"She's over here, on the other side of the wall. I've talked to her some. She's a bit crazy," Johanna says, and I can almost see her rolling her eyes.

"She's Finnick's girlfriend, right?"

"Fiancée, Peeta. And yes, but they picked her up from District 4 after the Quarter Quell."

"Oh."

I lie back against the wall, wishing that I could fall asleep, but I can't. I have too much to think about, Annie being here with us.

"Is she hurt?" I blurt out.

"No, they haven't touched her."

"Oh, good," I say, rolling over again.

The days continue, and so does the rest of the world. I would assume Katniss is still safe in District 13, but that doesn't mean it's true. I have to guess on everything that Portia hasn't told me.

Marcus visits me on a regular basis, always with some new way to hurt me. I'm just waiting for him to start cutting off my body parts. Then again, then they couldn't use me cause I'd probably bleed out, so I don't think they'll do that, but they still could.

One day, Marcus shows up, but he's not alone. This time, he's got Darius and Lavinia, who he addresses as 'the redheads'. He is also accompanied by another man.

"Alright, let's get started," he laughs, and the other man joins in. The other man rolls in a gray, beeping machine, and I can only guess what that's for.

"Ok, Peeta, today we're gonna ask the redheads some questions, and don't even think about trying to stop us," Marcus says. I nod uncertainly.

"Daniel," Marcus gestures to the other man, who takes a length of black fabric from his pocket and binds me against the wall.

"Ok, Redhead Number 1," Marcus says to Lavinia. "You are going to tell me who in the Quarter Quell was part of the rebel plan," Marcus says pressingly.

Lavinia, who can't speak, shakes her head and makes a horrible animal noise, which makes me flinch.

"Give her 20 volt, Daniel," Marcus orders.

Daniel starts attaching wires to Lavinia's back, and types something in on the keypad of the machine.

He presses the button, and Lavinia makes more animal noises, shakes, and then collapses, lifeless, dead, gone, safe and sound.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Blood on my Hands**

"YOU IDIOT!" Marcus screams. Marcus turns toward me, nostrils flaring, eyes resembling fire, and decides to take his anger out on me.

He comes towards me, and takes a belt out of his pocket. I have to wonder if he keeps it on him at all times.

He rips my shirt off again, and starts whipping me, Darius standing by and watching, being held by Daniel, who looks relieved he is not me.

When Marcus finishes, he orders Daniel to bring Darius to him. He pulls a knife out of his pocket, and poises it right above Darius's little finger.

"If you answer the question, your finger will stay attached. If not, off it goes!"

Darius is shaking, frantically trying to get away, but is being held against the wall.

"Who was in on it!?" Marcus shouts.

Darius makes horrible noises and shakes his head wildly.

"You don't know? Oh, well then say goodbye to this!" with that, he slices off Darius's pinky finger. Darius cries out in pain, his blood splattering the grimy floor.

I think I might barf. I've seen plenty of bloodshed in my time, but this, this is just plain horrible.

"Answer the question!" Marcus shouts, poised to cut off another finger.

Darius makes more terrible noises, and another finger lands on the ground, more blood pouring out.

Ok, I'm going to barf. I just know it.

"Alright, I'm going to ask you one more time, or else they all come off!" Marcus screams.

"Who. Was. In. On. It?"

More animal noises. Fingers on the floor. Blood. More blood. Even more blood. Darius crying, wailing, as best as he can. Toes. On the ground. I barf up bile. Darius being racked by sobs.

At this rate, it will take forever for Darius to bleed out. Eventually, Darius falls unconscious, and Marcus leans down and cuts off his foot. This one still has two toes on it, and is hanging on by a singular tendon.

I feel lightheaded. Dizzy. I barf again. Marcus slits Darius's throat, then comes toward me with the belt. I make up my mind that I'm never going to wear a belt again. My shirt, still a lump on the floor, is soaked in blood. Darius's blood. The blood I made him shed. No, wait, he tried to stop Thread from whipping Gale, didn't he? Then he became an Avox. It's not my fault he's an Avox, but it's my fault he's dead, so it doesn't matter.

Marcus and Daniel gather up the fingers and toes and put Darius and Lavinia's corpses in large trash bags. It reminds me that none of us are treated better then trash.

But blood is still on the ground.

Portia comes in and hands me a shirt and shorts, avoiding looking at me. I change, since my current clothes are stained in blood, and something I prefer not to mention.

Marcus leaves me alone for a while, and I'm not fed at all. I'm so thirsty, and hungry. I just want food and water. Or maybe I want to die. I don't really know.

"Peeta, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess. But Darius and Lavinia aren't."

"The redheads? What happened?" Johanna asks.

"Lavinia got too many volts, and they cut off all of Darius's- small appendages."

"Oh."

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, they haven't really been here in a while," she replies.

"Me too. I'm hungry and thirsty."

"Mm-hmm."

A few minutes later, I hear the door creak and open on Johanna's side. _Spoke too soon_ , I think.

I think I'm dying of thirst. And hunger. My throat is so sore, and my mouth is so dry, it hurts.

Marcus storms into the cell, carrying a bucket full of water. "Thirsty?" he says manically.

I cower in the corner of my cell, trying to figure out what the torture part of this is. He can't just be giving me water. That's not Capitol. Or, at least, not Marcus.

He grabs the back of my neck and drags me over to the bucket. "Drink!" he commands, and shoves my face into the water.

I try to drink it, but it doesn't help. There's just too much water. I start coughing, hacking, trying to get the water out of my- everything. In my nose, mouth, eyes, everywhere.

He shoves my head further into the container, and my ears are submerged. I can't breathe down here, I'll suffocate pretty soon.

Just when black dots are swimming in my vision, Marcus pulls my head above the surface. I gasp for air, and Marcus cackles behind me. I fall backwards onto the floor, and land in a puddle of dry blood. _Darius's_ dry blood.

Marcus grabs my neck again, and shoves my head deep into the water. I don't try to drink it this time, since it didn't help before.

I try to pull my head above the water, but Marcus's strong hand pushes my head deeper.

It goes on and on. Coughing, hacking, barfing, gasping for air, coughing, hacking. It just goes on and on.

At some point Marcus just gets up and leaves. I bet he's hungry or maybe he's tired. It doesn't matter to me. As long as it's over.

I lean back against the wall, still coughing and hacking, when Johanna speaks up.

"Peeta, did they electrocute you, too?" she asks.

"No," I wheeze, but I don't think she can hear me.

"Peeta?" she asks, genuinely concerned.

I hit my fist against the wall, telling Johanna I'm alive and awake.

"What did they do? It had to do with water, didn't it?"

I hit hard against the wall. "Okay. Did they electrocute you?" she asks,

I hit the wall again.

"Well that's good. That's all they've been doing to me."

I hit the wall softly, and crawl over to the water bucket, which Marcus left here. I dip my head slightly, and drink it. I lie back on the floor, avoiding Darius's Pool.

I roll onto my side, laying on my non-broken arm. I barf again, and realize just how hungry I am.

My stomach is so empty, it feels like it's trying to eat itself.

I start coughing again, and at some point I pass out.

I'm awoken by Portia.

"Another interview," she says, a hint of remorse in her voice.

When she gets a good look at me, she looks like she's seen a ghost.


End file.
